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7 Jun 2017

THE KEY WAHALA (Episode 12)

John lay on his bed with his back, while his eyes were looking at the ceiling. He didn’t
know what was wrong with him. He didn’t know what else to do. If Dad was serious
that he should leave the house, where will he go? Perhaps he shouldn’t have talked
back at Dad.

He should have begged him
and asked him for forgiveness. But he didn’t
see Dad as that kind of man. He didn’t know
how to beg Dad for forgiveness. The moment would be awkward. He had never
begged Dad for forgiveness in his life. Dad was really furious. And John was sure Dad
meant every word when he said that they should leave his house. He knew Dad would
be mad if he found out about his smoking
but he had never intended for Dad to find out. His friends had forced him into doing it.
He had resisted them the first week but
they had continued to pressure him. He had taken a drag and coughed. It was a wired
feeling at first but he started liking, it
calmed his confused nerves and served as a
means of escape when his mind was
chocked up in the confusion of what the
future hold for him.

Somehow he didn’t care if Dad would get hurt when he finds out. After all Dad didn’t
care. Nobody cared about what he was doing in the house. Nobody cared about how
he felt, the changes he was going through
as he turned into adult and nobody was there to answer that questions that bothered
him.

Question like how he felt about women. His
friends always told him about the girls they
had been with and how it felt. He wanted to
have a feel of what his friends felt. They
had encouraged him to talk to Susie. Susie
was the girl all his friends knew he had a
crush on. He had been afraid she would say
no. But they had continued to encourage
him and without knowing what to say or
how to act he had gone to her and she had
said no. He had felt very bad. His friends
had laughed at him. They had told him that
he will never have a girl of his own, he will
never have s-x. This had affected his self esteem. He had felt ugly and unwanted. And
when he comes m home, nobody cared.

Nobody in the whole world liked him. But he
still had his friends; at least they listened to
him. He needed to prove to them that he wasn’t a loser. He wanted to feel accepted
and he wanted to feel among. He wanted to
prove to them that he wasn’t a loser. They
mustn’t reject him. If they reject him, he would be all alone in the whole world. He
might commit suicide.
All his friends had had s-x except him. He
really wanted to. He had been so curious especially after watching all the pornographic pictures and movies. One of
his friends had suggested they go to a brothel. He had waited after school and
when it was getting late they had gone to a
brothel and there he had had s-x. He had come home that day feeling weird. He felt
like a changed man. Still nobody noticed him, nobody cared.
Yes his results were bad and he had been
missing classes. But he didn’t understand
why he didn’t care. Somehow he had wanted
our parents to see that his results were bad
so that they might notice him. It all started as a result of an unconscious yearning for
attention. But it didn’t work.
Yet the missing class act had unconsciously
become a habit that he could no longer
control. He started enjoying it, finding no
pleasure in attending classes. He felt guilty
but it dint change anything. He could always
rationalize and tell himself that he owed no
one any explanation for his action. He never
for once thought his father would find out.
How could he have known that the key
would be missing this Monday morning and
everything about his life style would be brought into the open? He remembered the
anger on Dad’s face. Yes, Dad was never a
cheerful man especially around his family,
but the way he felt today was quite different. The old man was hurt, deeply hurt.

John felt both anger and pity for Dad. It was mixed emotion. But his young mind couldn’t
come up with possible way of escaping this
neither could he think of what next to do if
Dad actually sent him out of the house.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have exchanged words with Dad.

WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 13

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